This guy has been offshore since the 80s and still going strong, no one’s sure why he’s still working offshore but we’d guess it’s something to do with a handful of divorces and a current wife with expense taste.
No matter which rig you go on and sit in the smokers it’s always the same faces but there is also the guy who is in there so often you start to question what he actually does. This brave warrior is always good in case the lighter breaks of course.
We all know this guy, the guy who takes enjoyment out of being disliked and doesn’t care because they think they are the most important person on the rig. Could be your supervisor but very often is the Heli-Admin guy or Safety guy.
The poor scaffolders are always the butt of every joke but no one actually dislikes them. Some stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason though, if you find a group of guys with Geordie accents; they are scaffs, if you find a group of guys surrounded in tubs of protein; they are scaffs, if you find a group of guys talking so loud people onshore can hear; they are scaffs.
Also known as the Olympic torch (never goes out), they are often found with crocs and clinging onto the remote control like a lion protecting its cubs.
You walk into the cabin and he looks at you as if you’ve broke into his house. I’ve seen these sort of guys with their own bed sheets and framed pictures on the walls of the cabin. When someone say “I’m having a shower” that’s a nice way of saying get the f#ck out of the cabin, not stay and watch Emmerdale. And just because you’ve drawn the curtains at half 7 doesn’t mean I give a f#ck.
The guy who swears he’s quitting and has been for the last 10 years, telling everyone how crap the job is and how much management are cunts, just get it over with! No one wants to hear it!
If you’ve been to Tenerife he’s been to Elevenerife, if you’ve been to the Forties he’s been to the Fifties. This guy is fine and you can stand him for the first week but after that you start imagining throwing him over the side.
If there is someone on the list who you think we’ve missed add them to the comment below.
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